Moral and Spiritual Growth.

Are you worried about the path our children are taking towards becoming young adults? This write up will narrow on teen dating.

I want to appeal that you read this to the very end as it may have a bearing on how you move on with respect to your child’s moral and spiritual growth.

To start with, let us quickly point out that we are aware parenting is a difficult job in today’s world and that it is not easy to bring up children while juggling career, home life, community life and other responsibilities. 

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In some quarters, children’s behaviour is mostly seen as a reflection of their parents’. Proponents of the parents are responsible for societal moral decadence posit that parents are the ones who are supposedly the closest persons to the children; that parents should become the child's idols, best friends, and motivators who can implant moral principles in children thus producing a first-class society with successful children and youth. Workaholic parents, parents who fail to discipline their youngsters as well as parents who give less emotional attention to the children are proposed as the reasons for raising up spoilt teens. At Aduvie, we know this is not entirely true! We know most parents that are going the extra mile to ensure their children are not morally bankrupt. We also agree that some parents cannot be blamed 100% for the ill issues we are having/observing. Other factors such as mass media, social media/internet, the system of education, etc also contribute to a large extent.

As parents, it is your primary responsibility to cater for the spiritual and moral needs of your child. At Aduvie, we do not only preach family centeredness but practice it and we are very much here to support you all the way in ensuring that together, we raise young men and women that will stand to be counted in terms of character and learning.

We must wake up and smell the coffee! Society has gone gaga. Today’s environment is throwing a lot of vile content at our children’s faces making it very very tricky for sound moral and spiritual upbringing. Most role models and celebrities behave badly and these contribute to the pollution.

Our counselling clinic is becoming a Mecca of some sorts as more and more students daily flood the clinic seeking clarity about their feelings and about dating. We are requesting of you to be more vigilant with your children. Like I mentioned earlier, we are here to support you. While we have counselling sessions in school, please keep your eyes peeled for these things and try to make your home comfortable for your child to speak with you about anything.

Some of the tips we will suggest include;

Emphasize Character Development- Parents must not only provide for their kids' physical needs or simply satisfy their wants to keep them happy. Raising children with integrity should be a high priority, too. Parents envision their children becoming healthy and beautiful someday, but they also want to have kids who have character, people who are responsible, can exercise good judgment and who value ethics.

Practice an Authoritative Parenting Style - Parents must always exercise moral authority that children should be able to respect. This is not the same as being an authoritarian who exercises a commanding style of parenting with lots of threats and little reasoning. Authoritative parents correct misbehaviour and disrespect with reason and love, and their children feel that after being corrected they have been treated fairly and with love. It is far from being permissive or allowing kids to talk back disrespectfully and having things done their way even if wrong.

An authoritative parenting style helps raise kids into adults who have respect for authority and rules.

Communicate and Express Your Love - There are many ways to love children, and buying them expensive things or going on luxurious vacations are not necessarily among them. To love means to show you care for what they think and feel and this can be done by giving them enough time to spend together and communicating effectively with them, even if it entails some self-sacrifice.

Some ways of manifesting love and fostering communication include eating family meals together (at least once a day). Observing certain family traditions of getting together also shows how we value each others’ presence even if we have to sacrifice time away from work.

When children feel loved they can put their trust in you and seek your guidance rather than look for the company and approval of peers.

Teach by Being a Good Example - The best way to teach moral uprightness to children is to do what you preach. Parents cannot be credible teachers of integrity if their own characters do not show truthfulness, kindness, faithfulness, modesty, gentleness, fairness and all other values they wish to impart.

It is not rare for people to comment on a child’s consistent good behaviour with a question that goes, “Who are his parents?"

Supervise the Moral Environment - Aside from parents being good examples for their children to emulate, surrounding them with an environment of moral uprightness free of bad TV shows, movies, indecent reading materials, etc. will prevent their good values from being diluted with wrong ideas. As part of an authoritative parenting style, parents must monitor their children’s entertainment, activities, friends and behaviour and explain to them any objections they have to any of these.

Teach Right from Wrong - Outright teaching using adequate reasoning and proper communication helps children learn what is right from wrong. With a good background on what behaviours are acceptable and not, children will be able to develop reliable decision-making skills which they will use later in life.

Discipline with Reason - Disciplining wisely means being clear and firm without being harsh, such that the child understands that what he did that was wrong, why it is wrong, and how he can make up for it.

Handle Conflicts Fairly - Conflicts are inevitable, and they often arise from miscommunication. To solve them fairly, parents and children must be able to achieve mutual understanding and arrive at a solution that is agreed upon fairly. Results must be evaluated after some time, to see if the agreed-upon solution is working.

Promote Spiritual Growth – For many people, spirituality gives a higher meaning to life and a supreme reason for leading a moral life. Fostering spiritual development by encouraging prayer and meditation, reading spiritual books and attending religious activities often helps in promoting altruism and in preventing succumbing to peer pressure when it comes to sex, alcohol and drugs.

Early sex education - Parents must not shy away from this as the society throws this at the children before they are ready. Please open your hearts so your children can speak about anything with you.

Be computer/internet savvy - One of the ways for you to stay help today’s child against himself/herself is to be internet savvy. For parents who give their children phones, try to know their online slangs eg F2F: Offering to video chat or meet in person, LMIRL: Let’s meet in real life, 1174: Invitation to meet at a particular place, often for a wild party, CD9, Code 9: Parents are nearby, 99: Parents are gone, MOS, POS: Mom/Parents over shoulder, KPC: Keeping parents clueless etc

To conclude, please, share your thoughts in the comment box.